“I can relate to my clients today when they speak of painful childhoods enduring the taunts of other children about their size.” One thing can lead to another This cliche works just as well for the good things in life by Mary Ellen Grassick

Five years ago, it would have been impossible to convince me that today I would be sober, free of cigarettes, and beginning a new career as a facilitator for HUGS International in Regina. It has been quite a ride, and the journey has just begun!
Actually it would have been even harder to get me to believe that I would pick up a problem with obesity along the way, since I spent half the century trying to gain weight. Also as a health professional, I should have known better, shouldn't I?

I can relate to my clients today when they speak of painful childhoods enduring the taunts of other children about their size, except the derivatives were different for me because I was so thin. I particularly dreaded the phys-ed locker room so on occasion I would fake injury to avoid participation. To compound my distress, Marilyn Monroe appeared on the scene, and she certainly had some curves in
places I could only dream about. In the past thirty years, the role models on movie screens and fashion or beauty pageant runways have been thinner each year, so I should have at least developed some acceptance of what nature had dealt me, but the damage was already done.

I recall that as a child I was among a group that was rounded up at recess and taken to a room where we were given a half-pint of milk. At the time I didn't question it, but now that I'm in the Nutrition program Coordinator for an inner city school, I realize this is milk donated by the I.O.D.E for malnourished children to be selected by the teachers. Poverty was not an issue in that neighbourhood, and malnutrition was certainly not an issue in my home, I drank a quart of milk a day and was provided a varied assortment of food in any quantity I wished.

As a teenager, I tried to eat more than I wanted to in an effort to flesh out my frame to no avail. The year I graduated as a home economist I was five foot eight and weighed 108 lbs. Marriage and three children later saw the scale settle at 120-125 for many years. Dealing with pain and anger was a skill I had never mastered, so when my marriage broke up after the loss of my parents and brother, it was too much to face. The fear of raising my children alone was overwhelming and I found comfort and "strength" in alcohol.

The ensuing twenty years were a down hill spiral, and I landed in a treatment center in 1991. I learned to appreciate the support of the group, in this case, family, friends and other alcoholics. Recovery has been a joyous process of gaining freedom and learning to nurture myself. A year later, I felt strong enough to confront a thirty-three year long addiction to tobacco, of over two packs a day. This time I succeeded, and while I expected to put on ten or fifteen pounds, I wasn't too concerned.

How I wished I had read You Count Calories Don't in preparation for this new challenge! Each time I craved a cigarette, I reached instead for food, and the weight piled on. Denial set in; I couldn't believe this was happening. After a year, the scales showed a gain of over 70 pounds! As well my blood pressure sky-rocketed. Finding You Count Calories Don't was a real turning point. From my training and reading over the years, much of the philosophy was familiar; I knew it could work. I am losing slowly, the blood pressure is coming down, and I am truly enjoying my life.

When the opportunity to bring Hugs to others was offered, I didn't hesitate. It was a pleasure to share with clients the success I am finding on my own journey with Hugs. Just as my friends are taking early retirement, I am embarking on an exciting new career. Ultimately, I look forward to bringing Teen Hugs to Regina. If adolescents can learn self-acceptance coupled with healthy eating and activity patterns, they can avoid the unhappy years of dangerous diet and regain which is bringing their parents to Hugs.
Mary Ellen can be contacted at (306) 924 4411.

Reprinted from HUGS Club News #9

For group discussion or individual reflection How is a dependency on alcohol & cigarettes different from a food dependency? Recovery is a process that takes time for any dependency. Can recovery happen without searching out the “whys” of any dependency? Do you think of yourself as needing to recover? What stage are you at in the process? Discuss the steps that need to take place to move toward recovery. What has helped you?